Naughty or Nice?
by syntheticxsunshine
Summary: Santa is faced with a pressing dilemma who's Naughty and who's Nice? Set pre Deathly Hallows. My sad attempt at humor. DH spoilers, everybody. Big ones.


**Naughty or Nice?**

By SXS, inspired by a very charming piece of artwork from a very talented artist; Marta, who receives all credit for the artwork

Disclaimer: The artwork is copyright Marta, owner of and all other copyrighted aspects are not mine, and I didn't intend to use them for copyright infringement purposes

* * *

Santa Claus was at a loss for words. 

It was late at night, and hail was pouring down from the clouds. In his warm, bright cottage, Santa stared hopelessly down at his Christmas lists. Usually, it had been fairly easy to decipher who had been naughty or nice—sure, the Weasley twins gave him some trouble at times, but nothing this _drastic_. And yes, perhaps he had made a mistake of giving Tom Marvolo Riddle what he wanted for Christmas one year; a book titled _Horcruxes for Dummies_, and okay, okay! Alright, it was him that had granted Gilderoy Lockhart's Christmas wish and given him his—here Santa cringed at the very memory—first bottle of Velicity Pempur's Super Style Beauty Hair Shampoo. A terrible mistake, Santa knew. But this was just unheard of, this mess.

Santa stared at his list, having been up all night pondering where to place just one person…

The Nice List had many names of witches and wizards; Harry Potter (because saving the world from an evil, psychotic wizard is a must for all on the Nice List), Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, and Luna Lovegood (Santa could still remember her odd request of an autograph from "Sirius Black/Stubby Boardman.") In the middle of the list there were names like Rubeus Hagrid (Santa could still remember giving him an firecrab and a flobberworm for the holidays a few years back—he should've known the result of that), Sirius Black, Ron Weasley, and Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody (Santa could still remember and regret giving him a book entitled _Defenses and Enchantments for the Paranoid._) At the very end of the Nice List was Mungdungus Fletcher, who'd had a few stints on the Naughty List before, and that oddball, Aberforth Dumbledore, who had most recently requested a pair of stockings with goats patterned all over it. The Dumbledore brothers sure seemed to have a taste for socks…

Well, Santa supposed, there was only one Dumbledore left, since Albus's tragic departure. Which lead him to think about that enigmatic puzzle again….

Santa stared down at the Naughty List. On the very top was Tom Marvolo Riddle AKA The Dark Lord AKA He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named AKA You-Know-Who AKA Lord Voldemort AKA WE KNOW WHO HE IS ALREADY! Honestly, Santa thought with a sigh, the man had too many a pet name…. Next on the Naughty List was Peter Pettigrew, who had requested a new shining silver hand, on account of the old one had begun twitching towards his throat whenever he stole some of Nagini's food. There were names like Bellatrix Lestrange, Fenrir Greyback, and Draco Malfoy (who asked for a bottle of Velicity Pempur's Super Style Platinum Blonde Hair Dye ever year, to keep his hair the same color as his skin.) Santa sighed. He had avoided looking at the very bottom of each list, which he felt forced to now.

Below the name "Mungdungus Fletcher" on the first list, there were many blotches, crossing outs, scribbled out words, question marks, and un-happy smiley faces (that weren't smiling! They were more like…frowny faces.)

Severus Tobias Snape.

His name was written first on the Nice List, and then switched to the Naughty List when he became caught up in the Dark Arts. Judging from all the information revealed in Harry Potter series so far (NOT that there was a series of books that documented Harry's life in the real world, oh no, pish posh…), Severus Snape had just barely made it to the Nice List, after SEEMINGLY proving his loyalty to the Order of the Phoenix (who had all made it to the Nice List.) But now, after the whole Hogwarts fiasco….

**WAS SEVERUS SNAPE NAUGHTY OR NICE!?**

Santa could hardly think straight. He had written down Snape's name and crossed it out approximately fourteen-and-a-half times on each list (the half was when he started writing it, was completely boggled, and then just crossed the "Sev" out.) Santa couldn't think straight; this had been bothering him for days on end. Some people thought being Santa Claus was an easy job, but if they got wind of what he'd been going through, maybe he'd actually get _paid_….

"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" roared Santa at the top of his lungs. Suddenly, there was a loud crack during his shout, and he whirled around to see his good friend, Dobby the Elf, standing behind him

"'Tis a nice night, sir!" squeaked Dobby, wearing an oversized sweater, eight hats piled on top of each other, and mismatching socks (one had some penguins playing ice hockey on them, the other was of the Weird Sisters.) Santa chuckled; the elf had been delighted when he gave him a duct-tape sock last Christmas.

"Dobby," Santa addressed somberly, "Could you help me with something?"

"Indeed Santa, sir!" Dobby replied enthusiastically, "Shall Dobby make 'Special Eggnog' for Santa?"

"Oh no, no!" declined Santa, who only drank his Special Eggnog on Christmas. "I was wondering…what's your opinion on Severus Snape? Naughty or Nice?"

"Severus-Snape-has-been-and-enigmatic-puzzle-since-Harry-Potter-and-the-Philosopher's-Stone-but-the-truth-is-he-has-long-harbored-a-love-for-Harry-Potter's-mother-Lily-Evans-and-Snape-is-the-one-that-gives-Harry-Godric-Gryffindor's-sword-and-Dumbledore-planned-for-Snape-to-kill-him-and-his-intentions-against-the-Dark-Lord-were-driven-by-his-love-for-Lily-Evans," Dobby said smoothly, in one breath. Santa stared, wide eyed.

"YOU SPOILED IT!"

"I is sorry sir!"

Dobby quickly Disapparated, as Santa smashed a vase nearby, huddled in a corner, and began to wimper.


End file.
